Bible Heroes

I'd like to be like Samson and catch a fox or two,

or maybe good ol' Noah and be director of a zoo.

I'd like to be like David and sing some pretty songs,

Or maybe Dr. Luke and heal a bunch of wrongs.

I'd like to be like Elijah and ride the whirly wind,

Or ride inside a whale like Jonah and turn a city from sin.

I'd like to be like Timothy and really love to study,

Or maybe like Silas and be Paul's best buddy.

I'd like be be like Joshua and make the sun stand still,

Or maybe mighty Gideon and blow a trumpet on a hill.

I'd like to be like Moses and get water from a rock,

Or maybe just a lowly shepherd and tend a faithful flock.

I'd like to be like Abraham, the father of all nations,

Or maybe lose it all like Job and still have lots of patience.

I'd like to be like Adam and be the very first man,

Or maybe like Peter and be the first to share to plan.

I'd like to be like the boy with the fish and bread,

Or maybe the Savior and raise people from the dead.

I'd like to baptize like John and live on locusts and honey,

Or maybe be like Matthew and handle lots of money.

I'd like to b e like Paul and travel 'round the world,

Or maybe the angel Gabriel and glad tidings herald.

I'd like to be like the apostle John and have the love he had,

Or maybe Jesus as a boy and be a learning lad.

I'd like to be like Jesus and calm the ragin' sea,

Or maybe little Zaccheus and climb a sycamore tree.

I'd like to be like Solomon and know a lot of things,

But maybe I'll just be content to know . . . The King of Kings! 

cornfields January 24, 2008

I'm trying to be more tolerant when people disagree with me.  Everybody's entitled to ridiculous opinions.

"The biggest troublemaker I've ever had to deal with watches me from the mirror every morning", Frank groaned.

"I'm afraid to talk too fast", Granny Ruth said.  "I may say something I haven't thought of yet", she laughed.

Store Sign:  OPEN 24/7 . . . EXCEPT SUNDAYS.

"Men consider a twenty mile hike physical fitness", Henry said.  "Women call it shopping!"

"I won!  I won!" Aunt Mary yelled as she withdrew money from an ATM.  --That's the third time this week!"

Pessimist counting his blessings:  Five, four, three, two . . . 

"You can always tell a good politician by the way he answers", Brad said.  "He makes you forget the question."

"My son knows nothing but thinks he knows everything", Don said.  "I think he's leaning toward a political career!"

Mountain saying:  A lie can travel halfway around the county . . . while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Golden Oldie Observation:  Life isn't fair.  The young don't know what to do, and the old can't do what they know.

Cornfields January 17, 2008

"Let's go out in the cornfield and I'll kiss you between the ears", Frank told his wife recently.

Grandpa said he once had a rooster that was so lazy it would wait for the other roosters to crow . . . and then it would just nod.

"Football has affected our entire family's lifestyle", coach said.  "Our kids can't go to bed without a two minute warning."

"People who fly into a rage always have a rough landing", Granny Ruth said.

I told Henry that I'd heard that women would rule the world by 2050.   His reply:  "Still?"

Reportedly, the president met with his cabinet today.  He also spoke with a bookcase . . . and met with a chest of drawers.

Sign At A Procrastinator's Club:  DON'T JUST DO SOMETHING . . . STAND THERE.

When my wife has an accident it's never fault.  Last Monday a building backed into her.

When eating out recently, I ordered the house salad.  It had bits of wood and brick in it.

"Don't magnify your problem", said Preacher Mike.  "Magnify your God!"

Golden Oldie Observation:  I'm a walking storeroom of facts.  --I've just misplaced the storeroom.